Just as in every other
aspiring metropolis here in the good ol’ USA, Independence Day in Willow
Springs is a big deal! There’s always a
big parade down Main Street, and the organizers of the festive and time-honored
event collect and decorate all the locals they can muster, to parade through town
portraying historical characters. Suffice it to say, these colorfully costumed impersonators
achieve this hoodwinking in varying degrees. For a number of years now, I’ve gladly
seized this opportunity to impersonate Mark Twain. While I am at best a pale, pasteurized
facsimile of Mr. Twain, minus the wit and wisdom, everybody loves Mark Twain,
and I gladly accept their affection on his behalf. Sunday night I laid out my freshly
laundered, off white suit and groomed my appropriately white, wispy whiskers in
preparation for the big day. During the
wee hours of the morning I was awakened to find my right eye feeling as though
it was packed with broken glass and glued shut.
Pinkeye again! This of course, curtailed my participation in all the day’s
festivities, with the exception of sitting in quiet seclusion and pouting. This
I did, as my family and much of humanity enjoyed parades, picnics and
fireworks. Tuesday morning, I struggled from bed, dutifully administered my eye
drops as instructed, donned my bathrobe and shuffled to the porch, to collapse
on the bench and commiserate with the cat. All at once something scampered up
my neck and into my ear. Several seconds
of frantic flailing and colorful colloquialisms eventually dislodged a brown
recluse spider that had evidently been seeking refuge in my robe. Despite his
unchristian reception, the good natured little Arachnid chose not to bite me,
and I should have been more appreciative of his restraint. I was not.
I squished him anyway! I’m generally quite mild and forgiving, but he
caught me on a bad day. SC
