A Halloween Tale

Late one autumn evening,

All the leaves was orange and brown,

And the pines was mighty perty

With the moon a beamin’ down.

There was barely just a breath of breeze.

The woods were cool and still,

And I was out a listening

For the falls last whippoorwill.

I sauntered around the corner

Of the house, out by the deck,

And I couldn’t help but grinning

As I stopped and craned my neck.

I peeked in through the window,

Where the Misses was at work,

And I recognized the duty

That no man could ever shirk.

She had finished baking goodies,

And was standing at the sink.

She was reaching for the dipper,

Just to get herself a drink.

When without a bit of warning,

Not inkling or a trace,

I sprang up at the window

To confront her face to face!

Well it must have been horrendous

When she saw me glaring in,

With the darkness all around me

And the moonlight on my grin.

Cause it wasn’t but a second

Till her color went real poor,

And her knees collapsed beneath her,

And I heard her hit the floor!

Our Scotty looked real nervous

As he lit out for the shed,

And I figured it was likely

That was where I’d make my bed.

Well you can’t even imagine

How I felt there all alone.

Just the thought of going in the house

Struck terror to the bone.

I figured she’d be coming to,

And I figured she’d be hacked!

I wouldn’t get no goodies.

I knew that for a fact.

When at last I peeked in through the door,

She grabbed me by an ear!

I took an awful beating.

The price I paid was dear!

I was quick to holler uncle,

Or it’s likely I’d be dead.

I was right about the goodies.

And it’s cold as penguin poop out in the shed!

SC