An Unchristian Reception

Just as in every other aspiring metropolis here in the good ol’ USA, Independence Day in Willow Springs is a big deal!  There’s always a big parade down Main Street, and the organizers of the festive and time-honored event collect and decorate all the locals they can muster, to parade through town portraying historical characters. Suffice it to say, these colorfully costumed impersonators achieve this hoodwinking in varying degrees. For a number of years now, I’ve gladly seized this opportunity to impersonate Mark Twain. While I am at best a pale, pasteurized facsimile of Mr. Twain, minus the wit and wisdom, everybody loves Mark Twain, and I gladly accept their affection on his behalf. Sunday night I laid out my freshly laundered, off white suit and groomed my appropriately white, wispy whiskers in preparation for the big day.  During the wee hours of the morning I was awakened to find my right eye feeling as though it was packed with broken glass and glued shut.  Pinkeye again! This of course, curtailed my participation in all the day’s festivities, with the exception of sitting in quiet seclusion and pouting. This I did, as my family and much of humanity enjoyed parades, picnics and fireworks. Tuesday morning, I struggled from bed, dutifully administered my eye drops as instructed, donned my bathrobe and shuffled to the porch, to collapse on the bench and commiserate with the cat. All at once something scampered up my neck and into my ear.  Several seconds of frantic flailing and colorful colloquialisms eventually dislodged a brown recluse spider that had evidently been seeking refuge in my robe. Despite his unchristian reception, the good natured little Arachnid chose not to bite me, and I should have been more appreciative of his restraint.  I was not.  I squished him anyway! I’m generally quite mild and forgiving, but he caught me on a bad day.  SC