FREEZER BURN

One summer it was mighty hot!

It got up to a hundred and four!

The kids was in the cattle tank.

They couldn’t take no more!

When finally them kids had enough,

At last I saw MY chance.

Them kids swarmed down the hill to play,

And I stripped my shirt and pants.

I sprawled out in that water tank,

And things was lookin’ better,

Till them darn kids came screamin’ back,

In hopes of gettin’ wetter.

“We’re gonna git some ice-cream Dad.”

I heard them yahoos yellin’.

“You kids track up your mom’s clean floors,

And you better believe, I’m tellin’!”

I made them yahoos wait outside,

While I went to git their treat.

My birthday suit was ringin’ wet,

But at least I had clean feet.

I opened wide the freezer door,

And leaned in for the rocky road.

You’ve probably guessed what happened next.

If only I had knowed!

I blush to tell what happened next.

I feel so darned inferior!

That freezer door came slammin’ shut,

And froze tight to my bare posterior!

Them kids got tickled, but they thawed me loose.

I’m tickled that’s all they done.

It would have been just like them two

To dial up nine-one-one!